men need a place for sex, while women need a reason?!

Disclaimer:  This post is MY opinion on a certain topic that I chose to write on. I don’t say it IS the fact. The idea is to express my view and to see what other people might probably think about the same issue. So, in case you don’t like the contents, or you think its offensive, feel free to stop reading..!  Also, if you think I’m wrong, do let me know why you think so. Anything that seems statistical may or may not be based on actual statistics. So, I do not take responsibility if you think it is wrong. However, if you have the CORRECT fact/statistic/data, feel free to share and comment. I hope, you have not found the disclaimer offensive! If you still are interested in reading the blog, do leave your comments!

Like the urban saying goes, it probably IS true (atleast in most of the cases) that men need just a place, while women need a reason for sex. I would like to reiterate that I’m not trying to imply that men are looking only for a shag and are incapable of 'love' or 'relationship' or 'commitment'.  Infact, women looking only for a shag is just as common in recent times. Although men can love just as well as women, (Infact, in some cases, better than women) when it comes to sex, men need no more than a place, a place that would guarantee seclusion for a few minutes or hours, as the case maybe!

Like my previous post on ‘Chauvinism’, I blame evolution for this trait in men, which women seem to be so fond of bashing! (This is despite the fact that all of us know that there are as many women opting for a one night stand as there are men!)

When humans evolved, they, I presume, did not have the luxury of ‘love-making’. Sex, to them must have been more like thirst or hunger, something driven by instinct. This did serve the purpose sex was ‘designed’ for!

However, with the cultural evolution, sex was more for entertainment than for reproduction! Coming back to the topic, women, as I had mentioned in the previous post, have always had a need to choose her mate so that the best genes get passed on. In other words, she was always on the look-out for the best male specimen! Further, the female had the important task of delivering the offspring. This also put the pregnant female in a risk from threats, be in animals or the forces of nature. So, I assume, this factor would have genetically driven her away from getting horny at the slightest provocation. This might probably be continuing even today. 

Man, on the other hand, was basically ingrained to pass on his seed to start the next generation. Like all animals, humans ate, slept and lived for one reason- to reproduce. With the female being so choosy in mate selection and with a limited ‘window of opportunity’ available, man, if he had been like the woman, wanting a ‘reason’ for sex, humans would have probably been wiped off the face of the earth ages ago. He was forced by his instincts and the woman’s need to choose, to use whatever time and chance he did get. He only needed a place to get to business!

I’m not surprised that this, like so many other traits has continued down millennia, and still (most) men need only a place for sex, while (most) women need a reason for sex!

Men, Women and Chauvinism!

Before i begin to write my 'theory' on how chauvinism could have come into existence, if  you find anything offensive, either ignore it, or stop reading it... thanks

Women, I feel are in a way responsible for the very trait they hate in men. Thus Chauvinism, accordingly, cant be blamed solely on men…!

It is intriguing to note that men are seen as the more important sex in humans… Although men are physically more powerful than women, Women ought to have been the more ‘important’ of  sexes, thanks to her ability to produce a new life… Its true in any species that life wudn continue if it weren’t for the female… Infact, there is a particular species of lizard (I forgot in which island it lives….), which reproduces asexually… n thus, there is no male animal of that particular lizard that has ever been documented… Besides this, there are several instances of animals (snakes and such…) reproducing asexually… For those who don’t see what I am trying to imply, a species could probably thrive without a male member, but not without a female….

This, should have been the case with humans as well, and it probably was, when humans evolved… A study of early ‘religion’ would reveal that ‘woman’ was worshipped across all cultures, and without geographic boundaries… Almost all cultures had its share of the Mother Goddess, such as the Toci of the Aztecs, Ninsun of the Mesopotamians, Ashtart of the Sumarians, Ninhursag of the Sumerians, Gaia from Greece, Anu, the Irish goddess, amongst other cultures, and ofcourse, the Mother Goddess of the Indus Valley Civilisation, to  the various forms of Shakti worshipped all across India even till date…..

The concept of Arthanaarishwara, the ‘Star of David’ with both the ‘Blade’ and ‘Chalice’ shown as equal and opposite, and even the Yin and Yang from China, all have emphasized in varying degrees of subtlety that men and women were and will always be an equal and opposite… the Dual nature of life, positive and negative! But how did religion change into a male bastion and how did women lose their importance, so evident from the pagan times…?

This, I feel is probably because of genetics. The female sex, in all animals (atleast in most of the species), does the mate selection. This has its perks. The female has to make sure, the mate she chooses would be stronger, n preferably, the alpha male, there-by ensuring that her offsprings get the best combination of genes.! Humans, aren’t any different. Infact, in animals such as the elephants and the hyena, the herd/clan is headed by a matriarch. (And, as some might note, in India, this happens with people in Kerala and as I have heard, in Nagaland too)

The stone age woman, however would have had a lot more reasons than any other animal of her times… Unlike most animals, human babies aren’t (atleast to my knowledge), able to fend for themselves for until a few years after birth. This has a great implication on the safety of the woman, as she probably has to go through the mating ritual again, in a few years to make sure humanoids atleast in her geographic locations maintain their volume! This necessity implies that she has all the more reasons for wanting a strong male who can provide for her, both in terms of food, and security.

I, therefore feel, it isn’t surprising that most powerful kings probably had a harem as large as their armies!

But once the idea of a society and family was created, life was a lot easier. This implied that there were a select few who took care of the security etc. This made sex more of an entertainment, than a necessity for procreation.

Also, like someone once said, men’s biggest weakness is their testosterone..! Women, did use that to their advantage (Thanks Uday for pointing that out!!!). This helped women, gain a considerable control over a lot of issues and men.. Although men were important in the society, there have been lots of instances where women have played a major role behind the scene as well as upfront! I cant help but mention Cleopatra in this context! Although am not trying portray her in any bad light (am not doing her character analysis), it is a known fact that she was able to manipulate Emperors!

Given the considerable improvement in physical security, women no longer had to be dependent on men the way they were in stone age times! This along with varying degrees of manipulation they have inflicted on men, must have indirectly led men to think of ways to subtly dominate women. There probably was no better way than to alienate her from God. This is in complete contrast to all pagan faiths. Given this idea, the entire story on Adam, Eve and the Forbidden Fruit is probably a well planned lie! And, should I take references from the ‘Da Vinci Code’, there could probably be a lot more  events and incidents that I could quote emphasizing my point here! This added to the fact that she menstruates made her “impure”.

I am curious here., as to how blood makes someone impure.. If a man can probably go into a temple (I  am not sure about other cultures in this regard, n hence cannot comment. However, inputs are welcome) when he’s wounded, or even bleeding, am sure menstruation should pose no danger to the sanctity of the temple! Afterall, it’s the same!

Anyways, all these reasons, coupled with the dependence during and after child-birth still helped man exert his dominance once again!

Maybe, the idea to dominate has been ingrained in man’ genes like the ‘need to seek out the best man’ in ingrained in the woman’s. Things, I feel would have started to go haywire when this delicate balance was affected, as women tried to take control and dominate. (Maybe not all, but sufficient enough for men to find ways to set the balance right again!)

 I would probably sound very Chauvinistic myself when I say this, but still I feel women are responsible for this trait, for it is them, who seek out the DOMINANT MALE! Men need sex like they need food and water and sleep. Women, on the other hand are probably, and I  say PROBABLY(so that none ve u women out there jump on me for a fight!) are wired in a different way. So, when men need sex, they need to woo the female, and she’d probably be interested if and only if he s the dominant one among the lot available for selection. Hence, I feel its only natural that the need to dominate has come so far as to try  and strip women of all her rights and try keep her dependant! So, in a way, women are responsible for men being Chauvinistic.!

I would like to reiterate that this is only my opinion, and I don’t imply that I am correct. Feel free to give in your comments. And, as for my take on why Men need sex as much as they do, while women seem to be different, I shall come back with my next post….

Until then, ADIOS………………!